Happy Birthday Ezra

Proverbs 19:18-20:

"Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death. A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again. Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise."

Ezra, my boy, I love you so. You have been one of the sources of my greatest joys. You also have been at times a true test of my patience. I know this is of no fault of your own. You are the wonderful little man that God created you to be, and are a reflection of the hot tempers of your mother and I. I pray that God will grant you peace and teach you to control the impulses of the flesh. Learn your lessons now young man, while life is still kind enough to offer you compromise. It doesn't get any easier. Know that my love and prayers are with you always. Love, Dad

Happy Birthday Anna

Music. I love music. I love my little girl. You are a little ray of sunshine in my life. I am so proud of how brilliant you are, how creative you are, and I know you will do great things. Never let the world tell you any different, and never worry about pleasing men. Open your heart to God and let him guide you. Love, Dad

Sequestration

Here we are wrapping up the second month of the year. What a wild ride of insanity it has been! Politically we have gone off the deep end. Most Americans are so ignorant of their rights, they are  completely blind to how badly the  current government is stripping them away. Morally we have seen a former military service member and former police officer with an impeccable record suddenly go on what has been the most memorable shooting rampage of recent history. (Details of which remain murky at best. There are stories of the police opening fire on  civilians and implications that his rampage was due to the LAPD purposely destroying his record because he reported a superior for excessive force.)  We have seen a crazy man hold an autistic child hostage until he was finally killed by the police. North Korea tested another nuclear bomb. This time Iran was there. The world is watching and does nothing. Israel, prophetically, stands alone. In the midst of all this chaos, my wife and I are having another child. He will be born this summer. His name will be Jesse David Meineke. He will be a man of God. Call me crazy, but God told me this would be so. Godspeed little man. Godspeed.

Welcome to 2013

As the month draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on the past few weeks and how much has transpired just since the new year rolled in. New Year's Day came and went without any significance that I was aware of, yet the world seems to have spiraled into a vortex of insanity since then. Fiscal cliffs, school shootings, gun control, and the threat of war looming overhead seem to have become the norm. It seems blatantly prophetic, if one has spent any time studying Biblical descriptions of the last days. Of course, to say such a thing relegates my opinion to the dark corners of societal condemnation. I'm crazy, so they would say. Maybe so, but I'm not walking around shooting people either. Not yet anyways.

Christmas 2012

I wish I could say I had a Merry Christmas this year. I didn't. It was probably the worst Christmas I've ever had. Besides being sick pretty much the entire time, I had a horrible fight with my wife. I love my wife. I really do. I just wish she could come to terms with the understanding that our lives really are intertwined. How she feels about herself, and how she acts on those emotions has a direct impact on the well being and happiness of the rest of our family. There's a lot of truth to the old saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

So that is probably the biggest reason that I had a bad Christmas. Other than that, I am really feeling down about life in general. I feel like a failure of a parent, every time I see my kids failures. I know I shouldn't have that attitude, but it really wears me down. It doesn't help that our world seems to be collapsing around us, morally, economically, socially. I am terrified for the future of my children. I'm afraid that my parenting will not be enough to lead them to the spiritual faith they will need to weather the storms on the horizon. I feel like giving up. Sometimes I seriously consider ending it. They are the reason I don't, and yet it bothers me that I feel this way. I don't know what I should do, or who I can turn to. The only thing I can do is turn to God and hope and pray he will carry me through these storms.

I wait for the end to come...