Quality vs. Quantity

http://t.co/mnXQZPubKE

— Rebel Dragon (@RebelDragon1976) November 2, 2013

10 Years Together

Ten years ago, I married the woman who I know will be my wife till the day I die. I didn't really give it a whole lot of thought at the time, it just seemed the right thing to do. We had been dating for several years, we lived together, and she was pregnant. I had no qualms about getting married to her. I loved her. She loved me. We were happy. Honestly, marriage just wasn't that big of a deal to me, since I had been married and divorced twice before. Those failed relationships had left a feeling of insignificance toward the whole institution of modern day marriage. Most don't last, most don't mean much of anything. I only wanted to get married for the sake of our kid, since there is this old ideology I got from my parents that tells me you're supposed to get married if you have kids and that's the best environment for them to grow up in. Oddly enough, after we were married, it seemed to mean a lot more to me. It wasn't about just the kid anymore. I guess it matters more when you marry someone that you actually enjoy being with and who you know is committed to being with you equally as much. So now, all this time later, I still feel very much like she was the right person for me to marry. Sure, we've had our fights. I've probably fought some of worst of my life with her. No, I'm sure I have. Yet, that doesn't change the fact that I know we are meant to be together and work through all these issues. We've now had three children together, little ones that are both a blessing and a burden we share. Raising kids is hard work, don't let anyone tell you different. It's just a whole lot easier when you are able to do so with someone you love and loves you in return. Some days we may not like each other very much, but we will always love each other. I have no doubts of that. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, I found something that is a rarity these days. I found a marriage partner that is not just a spouse, but a friend. She's my best friend. Ten years have flown by. I look forward to decades more. I love you.

Patriots and Tyrants

"What country before ever existed a century & a half without a rebellion? & what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon & pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants."

-- Thomas Jefferson

Though I rarely comment at length on politics on this blog, I feel today, I must. I have as of this moment lost all hope in our current government of restoring the republic as established by our founders, and cemented in our constitution. For a brief moment I had faith that the few remaining patriots in our congress would manage to hold the line and refute the tyrannical leadership that has passed this act known as "Obamacare" by defunding it. Sadly, they were outnumbered and our leadership has relinquished what little grip of control it had protecting American freedoms.

It is a miserable state that we the people have allowed ourselves to drift into. We are completely ignorant of our own political system and our rights. The majority do not understand that we have witnessed a coup. We have a president who swore an oath to uphold the constitution, but who has through executive fiat, stolen the purse of the entire wealth of America.

Those that have supported this movement are traitors and have acted against the good, if not direct will, of the American people. If you do not understand how this was an act of treason, then you are part of the problem. Educate yourselves. Know this, war is coming. We who are aware of what has transpired will not sit idle as we watch the future of our children erode into poverty, if not slavery. We have been oppressed long enough. We have been taxed and regulated to the point of choking out the very lifeblood which funds the government's exorbitant and wasteful spending. Now they are demanding we purchase "healthcare" through law. This is unconstitutional and unconscionable. The government has no right to demand I purchase ANY product, let alone something as important as healthcare. We have over the last few weeks, watched the police state at work abusing our veterans and war heroes. Normal everyday hardworking people were harassed and coerced out of their homes, business, and public recreational areas. This will not stand!

We are Americans. We will live as free men, or die fighting against this tyranny.

Who stands with me? If I must be a martyr, then so be it. If I can raise an army, then I will.

The legacy I leave for my children will not be one of cowardice.

Give me liberty, or give me death!

Ermahgerd Nineteen

I told Jenn I was trying to think of something to write to Devon about his birthday. Then she told me she had already written to you, and what she had said. I laughed. True story son. So many moments of my life passed away from you, and yours from me. Yes, I was away a lot. I regret that part of it, that's about it. Sometimes people walk away from each other and sometimes you know that I just remember being your age. Life is a breath, short and simple. No one can take it away from you except yourself. You will live in whatever way you choose, just know that bonds of family can never be broken. Blood is thick. Go with God, and know that HE loves you as do I. Feels pretty different being away from your family. You'll learn what it's like, and you'll want to keep those lines open.

Welcome to being a man.

Pain of Mortality

Last week I read this article. Now today I saw this follow up. As a parent, I find this to be deeply heartbreaking. To bury a child would be the worst thing I can imagine ever having to do. To see it coming, and to know that you are helpless to stop it. I can't fathom the pain. I never want to know what that feels like. How these people are able to hold it together, I can only guess. I am aware of my own weakness, and I doubt my own ability to remain rational if this happened to our family. As a Christian, I can understand how things like this will cause people to question the existence of God. My point is not to delve into that debate, as I am fairly certain that unless you have a relationship with God, you cannot understand what it is to have HIS peace, which surpasses all human understanding, to carry you through times such as these. I only know that without that sort of strength to sustain me in times of trouble, there is no way for me to survive mentally or otherwise if such a fate were to befall my family. I am not sure if Logan's parents were Christian or not, all I know is that I will keep them in my prayers.

I had a son.

The rest of the news doesn't matter. I got a little blessing from God. His name is Jesse David Meineke.

He was born 7/11. You've probably seen his pictures on Facebook. I'm proud to be his Dad.

This was my time.

Good times.

Nectar of God

Stone Brewery is my favorite microbrewery. Ever.

Oh yeah.

I turned 37. June 17th. Today the Pixies gave me this. 14 days late, but I'll take it.

Parenting 101 Whatever

Kids are gonna be kids. They will break your things. They will trash things you wanted to mean something to them. They will break your heart. However, you love them deeply. And you miss them when they are gone.

<3 you guys.

Things of Great Importance

Psalm 38

The world is in chaos. If you cannot see it, you are oblivious. The weather, politics, etc.

Wrath is coming. 

Psalm 136 

There's a solution. 

Islam will not stop marching. The New World Order has arrived. 

Melancholy

1. mel·an·chol·y  

   /ˈmelənˌkälē/
   

   Noun A deep, pensive, and long-lasting sadness.

   Adjective Sad, gloomy, or depressed.

   Synonyms noun.   sadness - melancholia - gloom - sorrow - dejection adjective.   sad - gloomy - melancholic - mournful - dismal - blue

I've always liked that word. I find that I use it a lot when I write. WHEN I write. Which is where I'm heading with this. I think I subconsciously have been using that word because it is something I have felt for some time. How long exactly, I'm not sure. Yet I can no longer overlook that little nagging feeling that something is missing. It's the little subtle hints that have been a constant barrage almost daily. Fortunately, I'm becoming aware of this. Sometimes a song sets it off. Maybe it's an image. Whatever it is that causes my senses to awaken, I am realizing that I must continue to create. It doesn't matter if it's writing or music, my mind must have an outlet. I cannot continue to shut off the flow of ideas or it will slowly kill me. I think that over the last decade I have let myself slip off into complacency, which I have nobody to blame but myself, but I can attribute to no longer being in a band and no longer writing as I used to. My website never got off the ground as I had hoped, partly because I didn't have the time to dedicate to it as it would have required, and partly because the pressure of trying to make it into something decent was stymieing any creative energy that I may have been able to expend on it. So after the music shut off, and the website became a bust, I shut down. It had been a process that was taking place gradually, but that was the final straw more or less. Since then, I've struggled to force myself to write a little blog post here each month. Yesterday, in the middle of a hurried workday, I had one of those little moments of awakening. I heard a song. It got stuck in my head. I listened to it a half a dozen times, and again this morning coming to work. So now I am feeling like I need to start writing again. A lot. I should not let my thoughts go. They should go here, on a blog that is free. So I have no pressure to pay for it, or try and generate revenue off of it. It's just for me. My outlet. That feels right. Maybe along the way, I can finally let go of this job that has been killing me as well. I don't know how exactly to pull it off, but I must find a way to provide for my family that doesn't consume me. I am more than my job. I am more than the amount of money I bring home each week. After all, in the end, the job won't matter at all. It will only be the things that I have written that will live on in the memories of those that knew me. No one will care what my income was when I'm gone. I need to remember that now, while I'm alive.

Hold on to the Memories

5/31/2013. My oldest son graduated high school.

It was a milestone moment. So many memories of my own childhood, and subsequent graduation flooding back. All the anxiety of being a new father. Reflections of this displayed on the face of my son's friend,  now facing the same challenge. Feelings of anticipation of the new found freedom from parents and teachers. Hopes and dreams of what is to come. Bittersweet parting of friends and rivals. A sense of accomplishment as the years of studious labor comes to fruition. Gratitude to his mother for having weathered the storms of his upbringing. All the wonderment of the future and the awareness of my own aging. The gray hairs of family members and the youthful vigor of the students in attendance. It is beautiful. Life, the progression.

The crowning moment for me was watching my son perform with a classmate the Cory Tynan cover "Hold on to the Memories" on stage in front of the assembly. It was flawless. It made me proud of him. As if I needed another reason. He's become a fine young man. He has his life ahead of him. He learned from my mistakes and didn't make the same. I hope that wisdom follows him all his days. I know he has the ability to prosper at anything he chooses to do. He seems to be on a path to follow a music career, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I love music, and I hope his talents carry him to all the far corners of the world. To all the places I would have liked to have traveled. Godspeed son. Go forth and be the man that you are.

Any donations will be appreciated and sent to Devon as a graduation gift.

Happy Birthday Ezra

Proverbs 19:18-20:

"Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death. A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again. Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise."

Ezra, my boy, I love you so. You have been one of the sources of my greatest joys. You also have been at times a true test of my patience. I know this is of no fault of your own. You are the wonderful little man that God created you to be, and are a reflection of the hot tempers of your mother and I. I pray that God will grant you peace and teach you to control the impulses of the flesh. Learn your lessons now young man, while life is still kind enough to offer you compromise. It doesn't get any easier. Know that my love and prayers are with you always. Love, Dad

Happy Birthday Anna

Music. I love music. I love my little girl. You are a little ray of sunshine in my life. I am so proud of how brilliant you are, how creative you are, and I know you will do great things. Never let the world tell you any different, and never worry about pleasing men. Open your heart to God and let him guide you. Love, Dad

Sequestration

Here we are wrapping up the second month of the year. What a wild ride of insanity it has been! Politically we have gone off the deep end. Most Americans are so ignorant of their rights, they are  completely blind to how badly the  current government is stripping them away. Morally we have seen a former military service member and former police officer with an impeccable record suddenly go on what has been the most memorable shooting rampage of recent history. (Details of which remain murky at best. There are stories of the police opening fire on  civilians and implications that his rampage was due to the LAPD purposely destroying his record because he reported a superior for excessive force.)  We have seen a crazy man hold an autistic child hostage until he was finally killed by the police. North Korea tested another nuclear bomb. This time Iran was there. The world is watching and does nothing. Israel, prophetically, stands alone. In the midst of all this chaos, my wife and I are having another child. He will be born this summer. His name will be Jesse David Meineke. He will be a man of God. Call me crazy, but God told me this would be so. Godspeed little man. Godspeed.

Welcome to 2013

As the month draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on the past few weeks and how much has transpired just since the new year rolled in. New Year's Day came and went without any significance that I was aware of, yet the world seems to have spiraled into a vortex of insanity since then. Fiscal cliffs, school shootings, gun control, and the threat of war looming overhead seem to have become the norm. It seems blatantly prophetic, if one has spent any time studying Biblical descriptions of the last days. Of course, to say such a thing relegates my opinion to the dark corners of societal condemnation. I'm crazy, so they would say. Maybe so, but I'm not walking around shooting people either. Not yet anyways.