Phonyvirus 2020

So yeah. It's been awhile. As I type this, we're still in the middle of the "great plague" of 2020. Coronavirus aka COVID-19 has everything shutdown. Our economy is collapsing. A lot of people have died, about 122K worldwide as of today's official count. That number was supposed to be a lot higher but for reasons one or the other, it's a lot less. I won't go into the minutia of why or what I speculate, but let's just say it hasn't brought us together as a society any more than before. We're as divided as ever. It seems like if you have anything positive to say about Trump or anything he's done, suddenly you're lumped in with the Trump cult crowd, or if you have anything negative to say you're a hater. It's like people have completely forgotten there's a middle ground and both things can be true. I like some of what he's done, and hate other things about what he says and does. It's not all black and white, but that's just how I see it. I have a duplicity in my nature.

In that vein, I'll move on to the bulk of my post. I'm done with pretending to be something or someone I'm not. The last few years have given me a lot of clarity on things that I didn't see before. The last year in particular. People I once thought were friends have drifted away or outright stopped talking to me because I don't agree with them on every political point. I had to get off Facebook. Every day I found myself getting pissed off at someone or something and I just don't need that in my life. I have enough stress and things to worry about. I'm tired of trying to keep people happy or be some image of something that I'm not to please those who at the end of the day, don't really give a shit anyway. I'm tired of trying to please people who can't be pleased. Be bitter, I refuse.

That's why I had walked away from this blog. There was a time when I thought maybe I wanted to find ways to monetize or at least raise my profile in social media. I've been toying with finishing a book and getting it published, so hey, why not right? A good social media presence would be a good thing, right? That may be true, but I've reached a point where I don't care what anyone else thinks about me. Love me or leave me. I've been hiding too much and painting pictures that are more surrealism than realistic. I'm done with that. My last post about our camping trip? It was bullshit. I mean, yeah, those events happened. And I truly do hope my kids will have good memories about it. But for me, it was a disaster. I feel like I threw away a lot of money on a trip that nobody appreciated. Maybe the kids will someday, but outside of the little one, it sure didn't seem like it at the time. There was a lot of bitching, fighting, complaining, and all around bad attitudes. And the pic of the Lincoln Memorial? You know what I remember about it? I remember trying to get a picture with my loving wife in front of the reflecting pool along with all the other loving couples and basically getting into a fight about it instead. The one lasting memory I have is a fight with the person who is supposed to be my ride or die. I know I'll never be back there again. I'll never have another opportunity to take that pic, and she burned it to the ground. That's my memory. I remember going home still bitter and angry. I should have posted honestly about it, but I didn't want to create a negative image. I don't care anymore. I'm calling it like I see it. I appreciate someone pointing this out to me and giving me motivation to rectify myself. I like blogging. I just don't like being a phony.

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

All about the dark places you hide

Tell me all your problems, make them mine

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

I live a picture in my head

Colours soaring as I float up with my body in my bed, yeah

And I wonder if I'm dead

Saw the white light flicker so I wake up in a sweat; code red

Sirens going off, probably something that I dreamt

Thinking 'bout the shit I never told you that I meant

I can't shake it off, chloroform, peace and rest

But you know all I ever really wanted was a friend

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

All about the dark places you hide

Tell me all your problems, make them mine

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

I wonder if the sun will shine again

If I'll ever see your face again

You know I'd rather die than say goodbye

So tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

Late night fantasy, it's when I teleport again

I got a spare key, we can and go and play pretend

(We can go and play pretend, yeah)

We can really transcend, no (We can really transcend, yeah)

You and me in an empty room

They can't get in, only room for two

If you play your part and I play mine, too

I'll never take my eyes off you

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

All about the dark places you hide

Tell me all your problems, make them mine

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

I wonder if the sun will shine again

If I'll ever see your face again

You know I'd rather die than say goodbye

So tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

(Sweet, sweet, tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies)

Tell me all your sweet, sweet, oh no

(Sweet, sweet, tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies)

I love the picture in my head

But I know that it's not real

I live a picture in my head

'Cause I like how it makes me feel

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

All about the dark places you hide

Tell me all your problems, make them mine

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

I wonder if the sun will shine again

If I'll ever see your face again

You know I'd rather die than say goodbye

So tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies

(Sweet, sweet, tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies)

Tell me all your sweet, sweet, oh no

(Sweet, sweet, tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies)

Donald Trump Protests

Some of the people protesting are nothing but rabble-rousers. I'm not speaking to you. Go away. To the rest of you, I have a message. Some Muslims want to do harm to our nation. I'm not speaking to you. Go away. To the rest of you, I have a message. Some of the BLM movement are actually racists themselves and want to stir racial tensions. I'm not speaking to you. Go away. To the rest of you, I have a message. Some of the MOGAI people do not just want equality, but submission by all who do not share the same orientation. I'm not speaking to you. Go away. To the rest of you, I have a message. Some immigrants came here in defiance of our laws and only seek to exploit our nation's riches and generosity. I'm not speaking to you. Go away. To the rest of you, I have a message. Some of the women in the feminist movement also do not want equality, but dominance and segregation from men. I am not speaking to you. Go away. To the rest of you, I have a message.

To all of you who are legitimately afraid of what may happen now that Donald Trump has been elected, I have a message. I'm speaking directly to you. I'm speaking to the Muslim woman who is afraid to cover her head in public. I'm speaking to the young black man who has to drive a broken down car across town for a minimum wage job, struggling to better himself, who trembles in fear when a police officer pulls him over for a broken tail light. I'm speaking to the young Asian boy in a rural high school who is thinking about cutting his wrists because he gets called a fag. I'm speaking to the elderly Latino man working three jobs to send money back home to take care of his sick daughter. I'm speaking to the middle aged overweight lady who has no sense of self worth because of the men who abused her. To anyone who I haven't specifically mentioned but has the same sense of trepidation, I'm speaking to you.

I'm a white, Christian male, over 40, who voted for Trump. I'm the picture perfect demographic of what you probably are angry at right now. I'm an old white guy. (Wish I could say rich, but I'm not.) And do you know what? I'm afraid too. I'm afraid of what my vote for Trump may turn into. It may turn into regret. But do you know what it is right now? It's hope. I truly hope he makes America great again. And do you know what else? If he fails to deliver, if his policies harm us, and by us I mean ALL of us, including you, I will oppose him also. I will stand with you in protest. Why? Because I love you. You are my fellow Americans. You want what I want. You want a life where we are free to pursue our American Dream, in whatever flavor it may be served. I am with you. 

Now here comes the hard truth. The problems we have right now, aren't Donald Trump's fault. They aren't Obama's fault. They aren't George Bush's fault. They aren't the fault of any one president or administration. Look it the mirror. It's our fault. We've been duped. We've bought into a narrative fed to us via an education system and a media machine, and we've been consumed by it. 

Donald Trump isn't going to make America great again. He can't. It starts with us. We have to change. We have to change our hearts. We have to start loving each other again as Americans and we have to grasp onto what it was that made us great in the first place. Remember 9/11? Remember how we united after that? It sucks, it really sucks that we've gotten so far off track from that. But we don't have to be. We can come together again. So now we had 11/9. And for a lot of us, it was just as traumatic. But my message is to you that I love you, and I stand with you. Donald Trump is a catalyst. It can be for evil, or for good, but the choice is going to be up to each and every one of us. 

#ItStartsWithTheHeart 

I hope you will help me share this message of love and respect all through our land. Especially to your friends who are protesting. Talk to those who have an open mind and will listen. Share my message. Share this hash tag. Be the light in the darkness. We are better than this. We are smarter than this. 

Let's make this happen for the good of our nation, and the prosperity of each of us. 

I love you all, my beautiful and broken fellow Americans.